Father of Mine

By Ms I-Hua On May 7, 2009 · Leave a Comment · In Misc, Rantings

Ahhh… Daddy gave me a name, My Daddy gave me a name (Then he walked away…) Daddy gave me a name… (And he walked away)

The words of Everclear echo in my head and bring forth so much truth. Imagine that, there are so many fathers out there who have abandoned their children, and we all do really grow up messed up and weird….

I don’t know. Recently after many years of non communication you told me that I was always on your mind, and that you were sorry.

And then… after a few weeks of communicating, and not liking what I (your beloved daughter) had to say about you and everything, all communications stop and you went AWOL again.

How typical.

I even tried giving excuses to you and why you have not written. Sadly though, I believe I have lost all twinkling of hope.

This time I haven’t shed a tear. This time although I feel a tad disappointed, I must admit that I never gave you the benefit of the doubt. And how right I was.

My heart lies unbroken (How can you break a heart that had already been broken by you so many times before?)

Trampled all over with your lies and your so-called “love”. Deceived by your promises of “we shall talk, and I need to explain”.

Where are you now?

Lessons learned from long ago. DO not trust anyone, especially you.

After nearly 26 years, you would think I would learn.

Damaged beyond repair I once was. Learned to love and trust again I did. But never again will I open my heart up to you. Never.

Twice betrayed. I am a fool indeed.

“Father of Mine,
Tell me where have you been?
I just close my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of Mine,
Tell me how do you sleep,
With the children you abandon?
…

I’ll never be the same,
I’ll always be weird”

(Everclear, Father of Mine)